My name is Toni, and I am 57 years old. I am a proud mother of six, and my life’s work has stretched across academia, ministry, and the nonprofit world. I have spent decades pouring myself into others—teaching, leading, nurturing, and serving. On paper, it sounds full, rich, and meaningful. And in many ways, it has been. But behind the degrees, the titles, and the many hats I’ve worn, there have been seasons when I’ve wrestled with something many women quietly endure: depression and the slow fading of my own sense of self.
Rediscovering Me: Finding Myself Again at 57:
Women are often the glue that holds families, workplaces, and communities together. We are wives, mothers, sisters, colleagues, caretakers, and friends. We give and give—sometimes until we are completely emptied out. Somewhere along the journey of being everything to everybody else, I realized I had lost sight of who I was.
I can still remember a moment in my mid-50s when I sat in my living room after a long day, children grown but still needing my guidance, work pressing in from every direction, and ministry demands tugging at my soul. I asked myself a haunting question: “Who am I when no one is calling me Mom, Professor, or Pastor?” The silence that followed revealed a truth I had been avoiding—I didn’t know anymore.
That realization shook me. Depression doesn’t always appear as endless tears or staying in bed all day. Sometimes it’s the quiet dullness of moving through life on autopilot. It’s losing your laughter, your spark, and your ability to dream for yourself. And for many women like me, it comes from forgetting that we are more than our roles.
So how do we find our way back?
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